A few months ago one of my pets died. On the day that it happened I screamed and wept and then the next day I buried my sweet pet, digging in the hot Texas soil until my palms bled and sobbing. Over the next couple of days,  I moved on.

I am not a “move on” quickly kinda person and I knew it was weird that I was taking it so well. I tend to hold onto things forever. FOREVER. So the simple release was uncharacteristic of me. It was a relief.

Then 50 people were killed in a nightclub in Orlando.

And then more shootings.

Cops killing unarmed black men.

Snipers going after cops and killing them in Dallas.

And then the terrorist attack in Paris.

The entire period I turned off the news.

I stopped reading the paper or my favorite news magazine.

I only clicked on cute animal videos on social media.

I picked up a People magazine to read the stories of the people who had died and I put it down again. I couldn’t read it.

And then it became clear that Donald Trump had a real chance of being president.

And everyone on social media was screaming and yelling at each other.

“Only ignorant white people want Trump for president.”

“Hillary is a lying, cheating, sneaky, evil barely human being who will destroy America. I will vote for anyone besides her.”

And then PokeMon Go arrived and all I wanted to do is play it with my sons. Driving around and walking through parks and parking lots trying to capture all the Pokemon…pulling over to collect poke balls, spending time talking about our Pokedek and what this or that can evolve into.

It’s been awesome. It hasn’t even been hard to pretend none of this other stuff has been happening in the world. I have been happy in my self inflicted state of numbness. It has been very nice.

Then some minor incident happened a week or so ago.

And suddenly I am not numb anymore.

Suddenly, I can’t stop feeling all the things.

Anger, and sadness, and rage.

I cannot open facebook and see another political rant. I cannot stand it if another person walks into a public place and starts shooting random people. Please stop doing that, people. Stop it.

This negatively, this ugliness, this anger that surrounds us…I can’t take it. It’s like a dark cloud that surrounds us.

It’s got me.

I tell people who love me that I am in a funk I can’t snap out of.

Since I admitted it I have had at least six people tell me they are in it too.

Maybe it’s a case of noticing it when I am enveloped in it.

Or maybe it’s just going around.

I wonder if our choices are Pokemon go or being completely devastated by the state of our world?

I know there is a third choice, of course there is but I can’t find it right now.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

mmm…hmmm…be the change.

It’s easy to feel like the world is in turmoil.

It seems easy to keep contributing to it.

And I am.

I know I am.

Snapping off, road rage, shortness, edge.

How about a blog that ends without any solutions?

Without any words of wisdom.

I wonder if there are any Pokemon around my house right now?